Democrats and the “Seven Stages of Losing a Big Election”

Next big question: “What Now?”

It’s been nearly a week since the nightmare began - what I consider to be the most catastrophic election outcome in American history. I have coped with other election losses in the past. But those losses only meant my views on given issues of the day - what the minimum wage should be, what a fair tax structure should look like, etc. - were not likely to be adopted in the next two or four years.

But there was never one which - at least as I see it - meant that democracy itself is now on the chopping block and may die before the next election, if there ever is one.

I’m sure there are people who don’t see things that way - an inexplicable majority of voters who voted to send Donald Trump back to the White House, for starters, even after he put an insurrection in motion that tried to overthrow the results of the 2020 election and hang his own vice president on live TV, among dozens of other outrages that should have been instant “career-enders.”

Last Tuesday night, I had hoped I might feel at least a bit better by now.

But no. When I woke up this morning, it still hurt. The heavy ache and discouragement show no sign of lifting soon.

Those feelings, I know, won’t last forever.

If only I could say the same about the damage I know Donald Trump - and the additional ideological/political judges he will be able appoint and that a Republican Senate will rubber stamp - will do over the next four years and beyond.

The fact is: America chose a fascist for president. Pretty much knowingly. I struggle still to understand why.

While the post-election in depth analysis is just beginning, I am as sick about what I think the election told me about a majority of voters in this election, those who cast their ballots for Trump, as I am about the fact that we are stuck with him for the next four years. At least.

I say “at least” because you may have noticed Republicans don’t talk about term limits much any more - even those mandated by the Constitution. You might recall that on Election Day - a day Trump always told us he fully believed he would be returned to the White House for a second term - he told reporters that he “thought” the 2024 race might be his last campaign for president.

Many thought he meant if he lost, he probably wouldn’t try again.

Others thought he meant if he won, he couldn’t run because the 22nd Amendment would prevent him from running again.

I didn’t think he meant either of those things. I looked at the 22nd Amendment. It says only that no one can be elected president more than twice. It only talks about being elected.

It says nothing about an incumbent president decreeing that his term will continue for another four years - or even that it will never end - which is the greater danger we face from Donald Trump who has speculated in public before about serving more than eight years as president.

Trump has pole vaulted over the line between legal and illegal on so many other matters that there is no reason to think he wouldn’t try it on this, too. After all, he used violence to try to stay in office after losing the 2020 election. This is not exactly unexplored territory for him.

Americans who support democracy need to keep their eye on him and remain vigilant against this, in addition to the host of other threats that will likely come before it.

Democrats are currently traveling a path that, at least for the moment, makes vigilance over Trump difficult. They are deeply mourning the loss of an outstanding candidate in an important election; the much better future they had imagined and offered the American people; and the loss of a safe and secure democracy - the survival of which is now very much in jeopardy.

I call what they are going through the “Seven Stages of Losing a Big Election.” Its seven stages are very similar, though not identical, to the traditionally recognized five stages of grief popularized by author and American-Swiss psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.”

Here’s a list to help you see the path as a whole, a brief discussion of each step as I see it in the wake of this monumental election loss, and where it eventually leads - if Democrats are fortunate.

1. Shock - No one should have to suffer the shock of watching Donald Trump be declared the winner in a presidential race once, much less twice, but that is what happened. Somehow, at least for me, this second time around hurt even more, like a kick by mule square in the center of my chest. Many feel the same.

2. Denial/Disbelief - There are early demographic break outs of the vote that just don’t make sense. But they happened. Which adds an additional layer of disbelief. We’ll continue looking at the data, but it appears that we learned the depths and strengths of bigotry, racism, misogyny, and xenophobia in our fellow Americans is far deeper than we ever thought possible. How can that possibly be true?

3. Anger - This is the stage at which the blame game often starts in politics. It is now underway among Democrats. To an extent assessing blame is important, not for the sake of blame, but to help figure out what went wrong; who was behind what went wrong; and to figure out what next steps are required to win future elections.

4. Bargaining -This is already underway, too, among Democrats who are urging different paths forward: (1) One camp argues full out, non-stop resistance to Trump on all things; (2) the the other group argues that Democrats should look for opportunities to work with Trump - where possible and where consistent with Democratic goals and values. Democracy and the constitution kind of assume that will happen between election adversaries after an election, with the final product being imperfect to both, but at least also somewhat palatable to both.

   That argument has yet to be resolved, but voters at least claim to prefer a government that works together to solve problems, even if their votes in the 2024 election suggests just the opposite.

5. Depression - Depression has already landed for many Democrats. This election loss was not only a stunner, but promises catastrophic consequences. Depression is a natural response.

6. Acceptance - Definitely not here yet, but some are beginning to move in that direction. Somebody always loses and somebody always wins in an election campaign. This year it was the Democrats’ turn to lose. It is what it is. Learn from it. Move on. Get ready for the next one. Not every play on the football field leads to a touch down. Those who succeed pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and get back in the game.

7. Rebuilding/Healing - Look for the party to move into this stage in mid to late Spring 2025, once the dust has settled from the 2024 election and the post election intra party debates about how to move forward have at least cooled.

   This assumes that the severity of their 2024 defeat and the clarity of the conversations that take place about what needs to change and how in the wake of that defeat convinces Democrats to unify earlier than they normally do and get to work repairing what went wrong in 2024.

The big question Democrats and those who support American democracy need to answer is in the weeks and months ahead is “What now?”

Of course, Democrats need time to catch their breath, re-group, identify and correct the basic problems that led to the Election Disaster of 2024. There is no reason a highly qualified Democratic nominee should have ever lost to an anti-democracy, pathological liar, Russia-inclined, wannabe dictator - not to mention a 34 x convicted felon - but that’s what happened in 2024. Democrats need to understand why it happened and figure out how to take corrective action. Then take it. Without delay.

A little introspection in the next couple of months will be a good thing for Democrats. They should take the time to find the answers and come up with strategies and plans that will move them forward.

America needs an effective Democratic Party like never before. The fight for democracy and basic freedoms is not over. Sadly, it has just begun.

COMING NEXT WEEK: My thoughts on what went wrong and what Democrats need to do better.

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